MARTIN VAN BUREN

Martin Van Buren wasn’t just some tavern kid from Kinderhook — he was the kid who figured out that serving beer to bickering politicians was the fastest crash course in power you could get. Fast forward a few decades and he’s sitting in the White House, running the country like it’s his own personal chessboard.

Nicknamed “The Little Magician” (because “Slicker Than You” was apparently taken), Van Buren mastered the backroom deal, invented the political machine, and somehow convinced Jackson he was just a loyal little sidekick. Joke’s on Old Hickory: the “puppet” was learning all the tricks of the trade, and he was damn good at it.

By the time he grabbed the presidency in 1837, Van Buren was done hiding in the wings. He had his own agenda, his own style, and the confidence to ditch the marionette strings. Problem is, his timing was trash — nothing like kicking off your presidency with a full-blown economic panic and a nation ready to riot.

So was he Jackson’s puppet? Absolutely. But then he pulled a Van Buren special: flipped the script, claimed the stage, and showed the country that the quiet Dutch kid wasn’t just a side act — he was the main event.